LIVE WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE

Its interesting how our perspective get better when we are about to die.

The Top 5 Regrets In Life By Those About to Die | Addicted 2 Success

A most important relationship

John 15:9-15
How can we have meaningful relationships without the MOST meaningful relationship. So many people believe they are in love. I know of a couple who seemed to be in a happy and even blessed relationship. However now they aren't even together. Many are claiming to be in love, and feel that the other person loves them. I just want you to seek the Lord when you evaluate whether someone loves you. It starts with... Mark 12:30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength: this is the first commandment. 31 And the second is like, namely this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. Notice how, LOVING GOD WITH YOUR WHOLE SELF COMES FIRST. Then loving your neighbor as you would yourself. I would suspect that many with relationship problems are having the same issue that God has with their significant other. However, before you go there I in thought, it is wise to turn the eyes of scrutiny on SELF first.

LAZY AFTER NOON

The other day I took a liberty, I slept in.

I could have done many things that needed to be done, but I decided to sleep later than normal that day.  It sounds lazy, but consider the fact that I had many 14+ hour days for many weeks straight.  Mind you there were probably a day or two within that time that I got a break. 

I don't care for sleeping in late, it makes me feel like I am being lazy, and although we do need to rest, most of the time we take our "resting" to extremes.  We too often lag around when we should be productive.  We turn an hour break into 4 or 5 hours and we often spend those times preoocupied with worthless activity that does nothing to build us into better people.

THE BIBLE SAYS A FEW THINGS ABOUT LAZINESS...read Proverbs!

LAZINESS prevents us from working.  Often blocking blessings we could be sowing into our lives with good spiritual activity.

REMEMBER WE ARE NATURALLY SINFUL IN HABIT.
People are disinclined to activity.
They don't like activity
They love easy.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR WICKED HEART.
Are you a thief, gambler, or a Beggar
(Prov 19:15; 10:4; 24:30-34)
If you tend to be lazy, then you display characteristics of theives, beggars, and gamblers.  Which means like everyone else, you have things that need adjusting or even a good annihilation out of your life.

THE TIME TO CHANGE IS NOW
1)Don't put off tomorrow what can be done today.
2)Look into your heart and see where the flesh has control..."it pays to discover."
3)Humbly allow God to change your life.

LET THE PROCESS BEGIN!

BEST KEPT SECRETS

Can you keep a secret?

Sure you can, we all can.  As a matter of fact, we all often keep the best things secret.

Usually when people use this phrase, they are in the process of exposing the secret best kept.  You see the best secrets we keep are those things we should not be keeping secret, and our worse kept secrets are what we probably should keep clandestine. 

Why do we feel the best kept secrets SHOULD BE best kept...secret?  It is interesting that the bible states certain things we should speak openly about:
THE GOSPEL
THE GOODNESS OF GOD
WHATETVER THINGS ARE TRUE
OF GOOD REPORT
THE BLESSINGS WE RECEIVE FROM OUR TEACHERS/MENTORS
THE WORD OF GOD(to our children)
As a matter of fact, our talk should be saturated with these things. Even our thoughts.
People are hurting and in need of some good news, the darkness needs some light, and we are the embers that can spark a blazing fire.
SO WHAT IS YOUR BEST KEPT SECRET?

CONFRONT WITH KINDNESS

II Timothy 4:2 Preach the word; be diligent in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.  4:1 I charge you therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the living and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom;   (KJ2000 - sent from CadreBible)

It is quite natural, and even spiritual to feel some sort of heaviness when we see a professing Christian following the ways of the world.  And our 1st impulse is to go straighten them out like a hot comb...in the mighty name of our LORD.

Such methods are seldom successful, selah. I THANK TOZER FOR THESE WORDS(slightly modified by me)

Usually such methods don't B3ARFRUIT is because the heat of our spirit is not from the Holy Spirit. I have only once felt the righteous indignation of God fall upon me prodding me to respond, and I did. It was the most interesting feeling, which I will not go into much detail on, but it reminded me of Pentecost. It pushes you forward and restrains you simultaneously. Most interestingly enough was the outcome, because I had previously GONE OFF on people before in an "spiritual" way and as Tozer notes "it can very well do more harm than good." Well this time it ended up quite well, I found out the other person was a believer and they were focused to rethink their own actions. Now back to Tozer As in everything, Christ is our perfect example and a prayerful face-down meditation on the life of Christ will show us how to oppose with KINDNESS and reprove with CHARITY. The power of the Holy Spirit will enable us to follow His blessed example. The baptism of the Holy Spirit will ALWAYS bring a spirit of LOVE...and....SWEETNESS and CHARITY. (The action of love)

NOTCHES

I am sure you have seen it.

Young ladies who seem to be sleeping around with everyone, looking for the affection they never got from their real daddies.  Not sure exactly what the connection is with sexual relationships and fatherly love, but that is what plays out many times. 

Have you also noticed a flipside to this sad situation?

Imagine Jay-Z's "give it to me" playing a a get together and a little baby girl no older than 4 is doing her little baby dance, you know that dance with the rhythmic squating action.  Right as the part goes "when the remy's in the system, ain't no telling will I _____ them or diss them" starts there is a grown man with money in his mouth on his knees moving his head like a snake to the rhythm in from of the cute little girl.  Awwww....right?

"Gimmie that funk that sweet that nasty that gushy stuff"

What if that man was the girl's father?

I don't know why this happened in my dream, but all I can remember was that I was the man and I was asking myself why would I be doing this with my daughter? (Which I don't have)

However these are the kinds of things we do to our young ladies and daughters and I don't see the wisdom in it.  TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY THEY SHOULD GO, not in the way they should hoe.  I just feel that many don't take the time to consider the psychological impact on their children because they don't see how it effects them.  I only ask that you pray and seek God's wisdom.

Why are we selling our kids into slavery?

When you look at your kids growing up, what do you want for them?  Limitations, mediocrity, unnecessary stress...indentured servitude?

What's the old mantra?
Go to school,
        get a degree (or two)
                     Get a good job.

Often this is through the uses of student loans. (The forbidden fruit I have partaken)

The number of education loans has currently our paced consumer credit debt, and soon many more will be in bondage.  It is sad to see how many in the middle class are digging ditches for those they love to climb out of.  Is this what love looks like?  I thought love pays for debts, not encourages them.

I suggest while your kids are young, you rethink how you set you kids up from life. Take a look at information shared in FORBES magazine this summer about how the rich keep their kids in higher financial positions than the average person does.  Remember its not about quantity of life, but quality of life...and how you steward over what you have.  Part of that is looking out for the future of those you care about, especially the children.

From FORBES (how to make you kid a millionaire)

1) Don't over educate.
That masters degree your son or daughter wants my be a bad investment (Laurence Kotlikoff Boston Univ) "Pursue academics if you love hitting the books, Don't do it for money"

2)Find a cheap B.A.
More prestegious univiersities don't mean automatic success, personal ambition and drive do. Lower the cost of Education as much as possible, with grants and scholarships.  The new strategy is going to community college you 1st 2 years

3) Fund a ROTH
TELL YOU KIDS YOU WILL MATCH EVERY DOLLAR THE EARN WORKING, PROVIDED THAT YOU DOLLARS GO INTO A RETIREMENT ACCOUNT THEY PROMISE NOT TO TOUCH FOR 50 YRS. Then be blessed by tax code preference and the POWER OF COMPOUND INTEREST.

4)Shun credit card debt

5) Shop for a 529

6)Give them Grandpa's IRA

7)Start them YOUNG
Not small allowances, but larger ones and require them to pay for clothes and other things.

8)Give Stock

9)Put You kids in a house

10)Hire you Offspring

The best truth you never had

This is the song that started it all, and the 3rd installment of the BEYONCE SERIES. The reason it is the beginning of the whole process of analzing the album is because I follow one of the albums producers and I heard so much praise about this song. 

SO WHAT OF THE PRODUCTION...
There is a nice piano melody and it sounds almost like a live band as opposed to the product of a production kit.  It gives you the feeling of triumph and that you can survive and move on with hope.  Or maybe that's just the Lyrics?

I WOULD ADVISE BROTHAS TO STEER CLEAR OF THE VIDEO...THAT GIRL B IS ALL LINGERIED UP AND TEMPTING FOR A GOOD PORTION OF THE VIDEO.

The song is about when you find out the real person beneath the front most people put up when they 1st meet someone.  You know we 1st meet someone, we are always on our best behavior, in our "impress mode" and all swaggered up like a peacock.  Eventually we let our guard down as the relationship grows.  People can only hold up a front for so long, then the desires that enslave them pull the realness out of their character.  We all go through this stage in relationships, so is this why many connect to this song?

The song reminds me of the warning in the Song of Solomon about GUARDING YOUR HEART, and a saying I've recently heard; "when someone tells you who they are, believe them!"

I always tell the young ladies in high school to allow time to uncover the lies before they give up too much to someone.  They should be waiting on marrige anyway.

TIME AND TRUTH GO HAND IN HAND.

Its sad how many teens feel they cannot do without sex for a short period of time.  They end up HAVING a lot of the worst "things" unlike how the song says.  Do the lyrics mean she didn't sleep with the guy?  I hope so, but as 2 Timothy says,"men will be lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God."  Which begs the questions...what does she mean by "never had?" I just pray that as many of you ladies connect with this song, that you are keeping yourselves for that right person...fellas too.  What use is reliving past people you had to let go while singing "THE BEST THING I NEVER HAD" but they actually "had" you....multiple times even?

THERE SHOULD BE MORE THINGS YOU NEVER HAD, THAN THINGS YOU HAVE HAD.

RATINGS
THE SONG IS RECYCLABLE (slight changes would improve)
@Children: should not even listen to this song, not just because of the use of a cuss word
@Teens: could identify with the song, best you sit and have a conversation with a mature adult.
@Adults: great song to have some real deep talks with those you love
@EVERYONE (including me) THINK OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO SIN WHEN YOU HEAR THIS.

1 + 1 = _______

Love has many adverbs (from Unozip)

"If I ain't got nothing I got you
If I ain't got something I don't give a ____ cause I got it with you
I don't know much about algebra, but 1 plus 1 equals 2
And its me and you...that's all well have when the world is through
Cause baby we ain't got nothing without love
Darling you got enough for the both of us.
So c'mon baby, make love to me"
- 1+1 sang by Beyonce'

Ok, where to begin.  1st it seems like a great love song, I mean nothing says "I love you" like "you are the only possession that matters to me."  Almost taken straight from the pages of the marriage vows, at least from the spirit of it. Then it seems to borrow from the old soulful love songs with some "I don't know much about..." love analogy that you may be familiar with.

Ex: "I don't know much about history....but I know that I love you, and I know if you love me to WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD IT WOULD BE!"

The chorus repeats "make love to me, ohh baby make love to me!"  Which is what I want to focus on.  This is actually more of a Marvin Gaye song, than a ballad of love.  That's wonderful for those married, not so much for those who aren't.  Countless example in your own surroundings tell you that healing is not a most common byproduct of sex, largely because everyone is having it and they seem to complain a lot.  There is even the idea that when someone is frustrated, they just need some good sex and that will make them feel better.  As with most physical pleasure, that sort or thinking is like putting a band-aid on gunshot wound or only taking aspirin when your appendix ruptures.

Also consider the whole idea that "making love" is an upgraded version of sex where the same motions are bolstered by a mental and emotional affinity that transcends simple physical pleasure. That is a topic all in itself, just know that love occurs outside of physical intimacy.  In actuality, physical intimacy is strengthened by the bonds of love, but sex is not love.

You MAKE LOVE when you DO the selfless sacrificial things that encourage, nurture, build up, help, or simply brings happiness to the other person.  At the same time, it also does only that which is to the best benefit of the other person, even if happiness is sacrificed in the process.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
GOD IS LOVE...
                                                GOD = LOVE...
                   Sex is not God....                           sex is not love...
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Love is an action, a verb.  All types of love do not involve sex, just as all types of sex do not involve love.  I suppose this song represents the intimacy of love, but many will listen and perpetuate the flawed thoughts I just discussed. 

The melody is hypnotically good, and the desperation she conveys when its sung will drive many to a reckless reminiscence of past relationships ("loves") lost, or even lock them further into current unwise relationships.  Sadly there thoughts stuck in fantasy worlds that don't involve God, or even a spouse.  Many will be to mesmerized by her talent to notice these pulls.
Sure you could be thinking about a spouse while listening, I wouldn't frown on married people jamming the track, in each others arms sharing unending devotion to each other regardless of outside circumstance.  I just feel that would be a small statistic.

OVERALL
This track isn't trash, but it is RECYCLABLE.
I would not recommend you let children under 16 listen to it.
I would say this song is only for those married.
I recommend you read "THE 4 LOVES" by C. S. Lewis.

THERE IS A BAN ON THE FIRE WORKS

From LaredoBuzz.com

So in Houston there is a ban on fire works(pray for the venders because they are losing much needed income in a relatively low economy).  I am also watching this movie called "Our Family Wedding" which features Forest Whitaker.  Its an interesting movie about the stupid racist tendencies between blacks and Hispanics(ever see "Black In Latin America).  One of the other currents of thought is many of the negative side effects of getting married.  This is a common theme in ironically named "romantic/love" movies, which are usually about people who have lost the spark in their relationships and somehow find it again.

The realness is simply this, we don't know how to love.

There seems to be a ban on the fireworks.

The big issue is that most of us....all of us have it all wrong.  THAT LOVE THING...we have it all wrong.  Those who have the best relationships say the same thing when given the chance.  "That I love my (spouse) more today than I did the 1st time I loved her."  THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT.  Learning to love each other more and more and more.

Our communities should be one huge web of love. 

Since we don't know how to love and we all are aware that NO ONE IS PERFECT, we should in turn be able to allow love to gradually have its perfect work in us...through patience.


This can only be done through the HOLY SPIRIT which has been compared to an inner fire that dwells within a man given over to GOD, the consuming fire. People even relate love to fire, we have just forgotten the nature of that fire.


If we allow the fire to work in us we will love more and lift the ban, the ban on the FIREWORKS.

I USED TO DATE HER...

I USED TO LOVE HER, CHASE HER, DATE HER...

I USED TO THINK SHE'D MADE ME A MAN, BUT SHE WAS A RAPER

RAPING ME OF MY DIGNITY AND MORAL SANITY

INSECURITY RAN RAMPANTLY, ARM AND ARM WITH MY VANITY

I SPEAK CANDIDLY OF MY LIFE OF LUST...UNDERHANDEDLY

I TRIED TO PLEAD INSANITY, BUT NO EXCUSE FOR MY HUMANITY....

NO MORE OF THAT, I AM RUNNING NOW.

Do you mean the "means by which you effect?"

Serving or Self-serving

in·stru·ment

[in-struh-muhnt]

–noun  

1.  a mechanical tool or implement, especially one used for delicate or precision work: surgical instruments.

2.  a contrivance or apparatus for producing musical sounds: a stringed instrument.

3.  a means by which something is effected or done; agency: an instrument of government.

We are all INSTRUMENTS.  There is a good and a bad, a black and a white, a wrong and a right; in everything we do.  Even the best of people can do things that affect those around them negatively, just as the worst can do deeds that have a positive affect on others.  

Even above both of these examples is the moral truth of good and evil.  

One way or another you are a tool of one of those, even if you think you are keeping to yourself and not bothering anyone.  Usually we get so caught up in the happenings of our lives that we become Instruments of SIN. (Romans 6:13- Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness....)  

When we are dealing with our students, or those with whom we have friendships (or more), or those we work with...lets be MORE MINDFUL of how we affect those around us.

LOVE THE KIDS

 If you ever had the opportunity to peruse the records of any one of the schools in here in the US you will see kids labeled as "At Risk" on their attendance records.  Some schools have disproportionately more amounts of students than others, but they are all over the place.  Many of your kids are "at risk" in America, especially minorities.  According to the US census, besides obvious mental and physical disabilities that may severely impede a students ability to succeed in life, there are other outside factors that also bring about this distinction;

At-risk conditions may come from sources other than the individual themselves. For example, institutions and social context may also bring risk conditions with them. In addition to these three personal conditions in the October CPS, we are able to identify four other 'familial' conditions that may define risk for the child. These are identified as: the absence of either or both parents from the household the child resides in; at least one foreign-born parent of recent immigration; low family income; and the absence of any employed parent or guardian in the household.

 Is this the correct way to look at the situation?  Maybe, the problem is real, so many of your kids ARE at risk, but what are they as risk of?  Expectations.  

THERE IS A STORY OF TWO PEOPLE WHO WHERE GIVEN A TASK OF GREAT IMPORTANCE TO THEMSELVES, THERE FAMILY, AND OTHERS CLOSE TO THEM WHOM THEY CARE ABOUT.  ONE SAYS THAT HE CAN DO IT, THE OTHER SAYS HE CAN'T DO IT. WHO IS CORRECT? 

I will return to that example soon.  When it comes to our kids, we tend to label them good or bad when we should but just labeling there actions as good or bad.  The biggest issue in the school system is not the budget, but the tendency to chart a course for students before they have a true chance to prove themselves.  We assume students are "At Risk" and treat them that way, bringing about self fulfilling prophesy, or for a select few, they are assumed "Advanced" and treated as such.  In the end the students labeled at risk are worse off and those labeled otherwise are better off.  I just want you to realize that our kids are who we train them to be, if you train up a child in the way they should go, they will not stray too far.  This starts at the home, where a parent will not allow their child to be labeled anything derogatory nor would they settle for less than their child's best.  Expectation, especially expectations that we reinforce with your lives...breed successful kids that become successful adults.  


Organizations like Student Venture, and Young Life seek to serve students in a way that ensures success by teaching them to how they can become great by building a  real relationship with God.  Have you ever considered how you too can help those kids labeled "AT RISK?"

 BY THE WAY, WHICH OF THE TWO PEOPLE WERE CORRECT?  BOTH.

That LOVE love

LOVE LOST

"...it's better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all..."
a quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850.

While I am not one to get into a literary debate, I have come to realize that it does seem foolish to speculate on the meaning of words written without asking the author.  The main reason why you need the Spirit of God it truly understand the Word of God.  It is too easy to misinterpret a poem or song about love, I have often found myself purposely looking at various songs in a different light simply by taking an interpretation of my own.  Too often it is the very sensually pleasing ballads that have misguided us hopeless (or hopeful) romantics from decades.

 Like the show of the same name, the "lost" nature of our love lives are ripe with the drama that makes for "good television."   

Just as a explorer who seeks to find ice in the mouth of a volcano, so do we seek to find love in a den of lust.  

The lie is wrapped up in the idea of physical "love making" or the foreshadowing of such activity.  The end result is that many are led into confusion because of the desire to touch and be touched.  This leads to the perceived notion of having obtained love and then lost it.

The problem is that we normally have never experienced love to begin with, at least not perfect love.  Those of us who are lucky realize and look for (even attempt to share) a similar figure or shadow of the real love we received from our parents, but then even that is tainted by the imperfections of both our parents and ourselves lack of ability to love 100% perfectly.  Let me stop rambling and just restate the main idea, which is that we could never have loved and lost if we never loved in the first place and those who feel connected to that line from Tennyson have grasped a hollow shell of love and found sorrow in losing it.  If only they would seek after REAL LOVE we will find that there is never a loss of it.

If Love defines GOD, maybe you should ask Him for directions on HOW TO LOVE

We can all can use at least a little improvement in the area of showing love to each other.

If you have issues with sadness and depression over powering you because you are lacking love, I suggested that you look that the things you love and adjust accordingly.

Psalm 45:7
You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You with the oil of joy...

"CAN I EVER LOVE AGAIN?"

So I was going through one of these mental emotional storms or whirlwinds where I can feel my heart wanting to long for that elusive dream of my past.  To have someone to be with.  Could it be the cold weather?  My flesh wishes to just grasps a hold of whatever is available to get close to.  But I know it is just my mind playing tricks and my flesh wanting to sin.  Usually such thought would tag team me with depression and self pity.  I guess it was like a handicap match, but God is so gracious and able to help us.  I usually loss such brawls in my past.

The silly things my heart seeks to do to gain a facsimile of love...should be called a FAUSEFARCE or PSUEDOHYPERBOLE of love.  So in the midst of subduing my thoughts, this thought invaded my head.  About how we are supposed to seek love, and how we actually do.

I have dealt with my own issues with the opposite sex, but I know of many who talk about how they have had such intensely difficult and hurtful relationships that they can't see how they can love again.  I know of sisters who see their mom struggle and decide they don't want to marry, but they have traded in that life for one of casual sex or uncommitted relationships.  So many of our youth in high schools are engaged in friendships with benefits, or just benefits with someone they find attractive.  There are so many who don't seek love, but there heart still longs for it.  The beauty of life is we can do better.  As a matter of fact, we must strive to love better every day!

"We Can Be More" - By Sho Baraka courtesy of REACH RECORDS

You ever hear of the sayings "LOVE IS BLIND" or the song that chants "LOVE STINKS."  I remember a song by Debra Cox called "We can't be friends."  When I listen to that song now I see how it's just a song about the confusion that grows because of this fake luv we see and experience every day.  The thing is we forget that we never learned to LOVE in the first place.  It was not until we met God that we even began to understand what love its.  God's the originator of love and he has given us His word as a testimony to His love and his mind on how we should love.  After all...

 ¹⁰For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God.

 ¹¹For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God.

 ¹²Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, 

1 Corinthians 2:10-12 (New American Standard Bible)

We cannot learn to love until we know God, and once we know God we can learn, not to love again, but REALLY LOVE.

"REAL LOVE" -by D. Montrell

DESIGNATED FRIEND

I have come to terms with my twitter app on my SIDEKICK, it lacks to much.  No retweets, and I hardly get tweets from other I follow.  It's sad, but the main reason I even got twitter was because I understand the STRENGTH of it.  I love sending text messages to my friends, and it has been brought to my attention that I seem to send them at times that people need a pick-me-up.  Not my words mind you, but I am relaying messages from God.  I can only send to 25 people at a time have too many people on my contacts  list to spend my work day sending texts to everyone.  Some day I will get to remedying the situation or you can just help me out be following me ( @connectFOURlife ).  So I being all that up to bring across a blog story I thought was awesome from a sister named Kalinago Woryi.  The situation she speaks on is about a believer having a drink.

The situation is very similar to one I came across on Facebook where a good friend of mine requested publicly for a designated driver.  I can tell you that this did not sit well with me at all, and hoping it was a joke I checked out the comments below the request.  Did I mention that I was not feeling this request?  However I absolutely understand where it was coming from, and although my mind was on some "WTHeck" I was quickly reminded by a good friend on that same post that there is a way that our action CAN and SHOULD show those we care about that WE CARE.  He didn't check a emotional response from me because I just didn't feel like I was gonna come "Christian correct" with it, but I feel HE DID.  The response? "I will be your designated driver." CLASSIC, VINTAGE answer!

Marinate on that for a while and see why its the best response to a hurting child of god. 

Hint: WHY IS THIS ON THE RELATIONSHIP PORTION OF MY BLOG?

SOMETIMES THE FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND THAT CARRIES THE WEARY SOUL ARE IN YOUR SIZE.


Some say make love not war, I say DO BOTH!

LETS MAKE WAR WITH LOVE!
I am done.....be blessed

Parenting (Prov. 22:6) by: Francis Jackson

          My wife and I are outgoing people.  We like to be spontaneous in our dating whether we decide to travel to see a play, catch a museum, or just leave town.  Fortunately, we have had the privledge to do these things and more.  But once you become a new parent (of an awesome 8 month old son), things begin to change.  The priorities are different.  The life you once enjoyed is put aside and replaced with the new life of your child.  So in leading our children, we have to take a back seat in our own lives to focus on them.  Webster defines train as to make skillfull or proficient; teach; undergo a course of instruction.  I like this word because by definition it requires my hands-on involvement with our child's growth.  It's more than just giving information out and holding him accountable to it.  My instruction has to match my lifestyle in order to be made clear.  In the New Testament, the Pharisees suppressed this principle by not practicing what they preached (Matt. 23:1-3; Lk. 10:25-29).  Paul calls this breed of people "hypocrites." (Rom. 2:21-24)  His view, on the other hand, was more of "leading by example" in instructing the saints in Corinth to imitate him as he imitates Christ (1 Cor. 11:1).  So Paul is diving in with hands-on training in addition to his verbal teaching and accountability.  This proverb also says, "in the way he should go" which would involve some direction.  God is a general term that can mean anyone or anything.  Our country is not like a lot of foreign countries whose government is married to the dominant religion.  Many foreign countries are strictly monothestic and will kill to protect their faith.  The U.S. is open-game polytheism.  Anyone who is a citizen can practice the religion of their choice which is a protected right in our Constitution.  It is important that children know the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and become trained in the direction of His ways.  Take a stand in the presence of your children of who God truly is and that He is the only god worshipped in your household (Josh. 24:15).  Create provisions for them to develop.  Provide incentives as encouragement and give them every opportunity possible to be successful for God and for themselves (2 Cor. 12:14).  In doing this, at least they may see for themselves a blueprint of how to perform as a (for my son) a young man of God.

1) Are you specific with your children of the God you serve?

2) Is your teaching "hands-on" or just verbal?

3) Are you giving your children every opportunity you can for them to be successful?

Lord, thank you for blessing my wife and I with a healthy, wonderful son.  Help me as he starts to get older and understand things to have the energy and wisdom to train him in Your ways by using my own life example. Amen

Battle of the Sexes (Gen. 3:16b) by: Francis Jackson

 "Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you." NASB

          Ever since the fall of mankind, there has been war or some sort of competitive nitch between the man and the woman.  Some eras of time might not be as aggressive in its appearance of this battle, but that does not mean it ceased and re-surfaced.  The "battle of the sexes is at a continuously rising peak as women exercise more and more their rights granted them around the early 1900s.  So much now that the term "independent woman" has become more popular than the traditional "respectful wife."  The mindset that has developed in the household now is the head of the house is whoever makes the most money.  It is even labeled this way when couples file taxes.  The fallacy in this structure is that there is no consistency in the roles.  Headship can easily change on the whim of various circumstances.  Where does the root of these actions begin?  The "battle of the sexes" is a result of the fall stated in the women's punishment. Understand when reading v. 16 that the desire here is not a sexual or pleasurable desire.  We have to stay in the context that this is a punishment being issued.  This desire is more of a sinful longing possibly for the man's position as leader.  This statement has the same connotations as Gen.4:7 when God was talking to Cain about his envy toward his brother.  God tells Cain,
          "If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at your door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."
          Sin had a desire to overtake Cain in the opportunity presented through envy.  Cain, in turn, had the same opportunity to master sin but failed resulting in the murdering of his brother.  Sin's desire for Cain and the battle between the two is the same desire foretold as part of Eve's punishment.  Fortunately, this curse is reversed in Christ's relationship with the church.  In Eph. 5:22-29, instead of that sinful desire for husbands, wives are commanded to respect them, submitting as the church does to Christ.  Instead of husbands bringing the hammer down on their wives, they are told to love them, replicating Christ's love for the church.  With this structure being consistent, the "battle of the sexes" can be exchanged for a God-centered relationship.    

1) Wives, does the company you entertain influence you that the many financial opportunities presented to women means the lack of importance of the existence for men?

2) Wives, is submission to authority based on whoever has more financial leverage in the home?

3) Husbands, does the company you entertain influence you that "enslaving your wives" is what makes you king of your home?

4) (All) How are you filtering out the world's view and working in God's view?

Lord, forgive me for letting my pride take the place of You wanting us to humble.  Help me to be more loving as a husband or more respectful as a wife and to surround myself with people who encourage that.

Purpose for the Wife (Eph. 5:22-24) by: Francis Jackson

           The purpose God has for women is more significant than a lot of people realize.  There is so much more to your value than just simply cooking and nurturing children.  God does command that women serve their husbands but you are also purposed to help them in other areas as well (Gen. 2:18).  This means that men are not going to be able to accomplish everything alone.  But aside from duties performed, there is an attitude standard being commanded to the Christians in Ephesus.  This was probably a peculiar standard seeing that the chief deity in the city was a woman goddess named Diana (Acts 19:26-28).  Regardless, Christians were charged with God's standards instead of the culture's.  Nonetheless, there was something greater being communicated here than the obvious command of submission.  Paul is painting a picture using marriage to illustrate the relationship between Christ and the church.  This is the mystery stated in verse 32.  Just as the man replicates Christ's love for the church, wives have to replicate the church's submission to Christ. A lot of women place conditions on this role. No matter how your husbands acts, your role is not conditioned upon his disobedience, but rather sheds more light on the valor you possess (1 Pet. 3:1-2).  Sarah will be recognized forever in her respect towards Abraham and has been labeled the mother of all those who share in having that all-out respect for their husbands (1 Pet. 3:6)  Her fearless submission proved favorable to God in that she was protected from sexual impurity by a pharaoh was deceived of her marital status.  Due to her love for God and total submission to her husband, she was handed to the pharaoh in order to spare Abraham who acted in fear (Gen. 12:11-20).  Wives, respect your husbands and keep them high.  Encourage them to lead, comfort them in fear, and be humble enough to follow.

1) Does your submission to your husband replicate how the church is to submit to Christ?

2) Do you comply with your role based on your feelings or based on God's command?

3) Do the company you keep around influence you more towards respecting your husband or rebelling against him?

Lord, thank you for blessing me with a beautiful marriage.  It is beautiful because you created it.  Forgive me for any disrespect that I have shown towards my husband, and help me to respect him and be to him as the church is to you.  Amen

Purpose of the Husband (Gen. 3:9-11,17) by: Francis Jackson

           Men are given the most challenging, most accountable role in the household.  Regardless of how the world promotes women as absolute equals or even having superior responsibilities, the bible speaks otherwise.  This is in no way a claim to degrade a women's value nor to enthrone men to a seat to boast from.  Man's leadership over the household is not one in which men are promoted to as a merit or something earned.  It is strictly part of God's plan for family and not a position of choice (Gen. 2:18; 1 Cor. 11:8-9).  In fact, if the position were of choice, a lot of men would cowardly reject it and turn to the women just as Barak when he acted cowardly in leading Israel against Sisera and the Canaanite army (Judg. 4:2-3,7-8).  A lot of evidence to this point is made clear by the many single-parent homes lead by mothers today.  However, what the bible commands is completely different.  The man is commanded to uphold the highest level of integrity in the home.  In this passage during the fall of mankind, this integrity is compromised by both parties.  Though Eve sinned first, God didn't address them until Adam disobeyed.  As the man, he was responsible for upholding the foundation God laid for the family.  In the New Testament, husbands are told to live with their wives in an understanding way, as the weaker vessel,... so their prayers won't be hindered (1 Pet. 3:7).  This passage is in reference to love towards the wife and not to undercut the man's authoritative power as many women use it.  In Gen. 3:17, part of Adam's disobedience was charged from him "listening to his wife."  The difference between these two passages is that even though man is commanded to understand his wife, that understanding is never permitted to supercede God's Word and that he is ultimately responsible for the overall decision.  The purpose for men is also to love and teach your wives(Eph.5:25-29), provide for your family (1 Tim. 5:8, 2 Cor. 12:14), train and discipline your children (Eph. 6:4, Prov. 22:6) and protect your family (Jn. 15:13).  Men, if you want your house to be Christ-saturated,SET THE STANDARD! (Josh. 24:15)  In doing so, your home can be fruitful (Ps. 128). So follow God, take the lead, and BE THE MAN.
God Bless

1) Have you accepted the reality of your role to lead or are you running from the responsibility?

2) Do you realize the importance of your standard and the affect it has on the household?

3) What examples are you setting to communicate this standard to your family?

Lord I thank you for my family.  Forgive me if I have compromised my standard as a leader.  Help me to use the courage you give us as believers to establish our home in the faith and build on the foundation of Jesus Christ. Amen